Blogosphere smells good! *smile widely*
Suddenly I miss blogging. Suddenly I miss throwing out mt thoughts on this little corner. Please don't blame me for the long silence. I did not blog because i did not have anything to blog. Can say I stopped thinking and live my normally with lectures, tutorials and labs. Don't forget I am a human too! I have private life you know~ ;-)
Praise to God, I am now studying in Monash University Sunway Campus.
"Amin, I thought you are somewhere in New Zealand now. What happened???"
He knows what's best. I did not pass the cut-off points given by the Petronas, lead to change of status from oversea sponsored student to local sponsored student. I felt low, down and embarrassed. I did not have courage to look at my family's faces. I did not have guts to meet my friends. I did not have balls to look into the mirror.
What brings me up?
Those are things brings me up from falling.
1. Allah knows what's best for me.
I thought studying abroad would be the best resolution. I would have new experience dealing with new people. I would be more independent. I would have new environment. I would be more mature. I would have better place for studying.
And I think I got it right here in Malaysia. I have international surroundings too! My housemates are all foreigners, making me the only local guy in this house. In my lectures only have got 6 malays - 3 guys and 3 girls. I have good lecturers and equipments. Thank You Allah. You know what's best for me.
2. Allah does not test his slave with unfaceable problem.
I'm lying if I say it's not hurt at all. Not going abroad is a big failure. I was depressed with smile, pretend as if i was fine and hypocritly laugh when tears drop in heart.
Then I realised, I am not grateful for what I have now. At least I have a place to study, with allowance and fees paid. At least I still have big dreams, which are destinations i am aiming for. At least I have Mak, Ayah, Kakak-kakak, her and friends who are always by my side. I should be HIs grateful slave, facing problems with 'kesyukuran' and pray hard to Him.
There are more reasons for me to still standing and moving forward. However, I should not deny that I am still in recovery phase.
"Ya Allah, give me guidance and strength..."