Friday, November 28, 2008

Punishment

IB IS OVER AND NOW I AM ON HOLIDAYS!!!

Ok, that sounds good. May make everyone happy. I was happy too, but now I am miserably afraid. Let me explain the reason.

1. I missed Subuh Prayers.
This frequently happen. I am ashamed to Allah and to myself for performing at 10 in the morning. In shame, still hoping HE would accept my ibadah.

2. I did not recite Al-Quran.
When studying, I recited daily. I could feel the enjoyment of reciting Allah's words. Even though I do not understand the meaning, it is really addictive. Once start to read, it would end up until the legs get numbed (my legs easily get numbed btw). I just started back yesterday. I could feel the different.

3. The night after Pseudo-Graduation Night
This is worse. After the Pseudo-Graduation Night (PGN), me and my friends went to the curve to have some leisure time together. Went to foozeball and pool, which sounds alright. Then I went into karaoke rooms with other girls friend of mine. err... The room was kinda small. I am quite sure how low my iman was at that time, where I did not feel guilty when my body accidentally touched theirs. Dear my friends, I honestly apologize for this feelings. I am honestly apologize fir driving you guys to that place.
From Foozeball and karaoke, I went to laundry bar. Yes, you read it correctly. Laundry Bar.



I got both pictures from internet, which I think look kinda same when I was in there.

Why am I telling this? So that I can be proud of stepping into the bar and can say I am cool? lols~ I am telling you this so that my Muslim friends who loves me would come to me and nag me for stepping into it. Yes, my intention was to get the experience how it was inside. Yes, I did not touch any girls nor drink anything inside. I was just looking around and sit with my friends. But I let my heart adapt with that environment, which is not impossible for me to get use to that place and make it my second home. My lovely friends, please come to me, be mad at me, nag me and scold me for all these thing.

I still have few weeks until I get my results and insyaAllah off to university HE plans me to go to. For the mean time, I am afraid my iman would decrease to the lowest point and I would lost myself again.

Ya Allah, please help your slaves and guide them to the right path.

(yaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka manjadi tenteram dengan mengingat Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah-lah hati menjadi tenteram. (QS. 13:28)


18 comments:

مرضيا تي محمد جا ميلي ~ said...

salam.

may i say something here?.
when Allah said, 'la taqrabuzzina..'
u shud think of it very very deeply.

as in the case of prophet Adam as, Allah ordered him NOT TO COME CLOSE TO THE TREE, instead of NOT TO EAT THE FRUITS FROM THE TREE.

no matter what we intended to, going to such place MUST BE AVOIDED.

and my brother amien,
Allah is lovely. He doesnt allow any of HIS slaves to open up their wrongdoings to others.
U dont need to do so.
its enuf for u to share those things with Allah, HE'll guide nad protect u. HE'll even forgive u, and love u more for being totally dependent on HIM.

Just a sharing, sorry for any lack of better words.
peace=)
Allahua'lam..
Take care~

@m|eN said...

Salam Atie,

The title itself clearly shown that i am punishing myself for doing such things.

I have other reasons for posting this, which perhaps not need to be told here.

Thanx Atie for the advices.
InsyaAllah =)

مرضيا تي محمد جا ميلي ~ said...

owh..

heee..okay=D

naie bintang said...

nk nanges bace ur post.
teehee.gez im touched by ur sincerity.
well,im not a really good person to tell u this but amien,do believe in HIM deeply bcz at some point,u'll see that all those things such as going to the bar n all dont bring u any good.instead of giving u pleasure,u jz waste ur time fr something even better.plus,u're a good person and i dun want to poison that thots of mine abt u jz bcz of something like dz.it's not dat nice isn't it.but wutever it is bro,u can always turn to HIM whenever n wherever n dat's the best thing u can hv,dont u think?

haha.seems like i babble too much.im motivating even myself actually.

gambatte neh!!amien-sang.
:)

one_munawwarah said...

HE loves u by granting u this very feeling, while some just didnt realize, at least he gives u the feeling of regret.and not many of us get this precious gift.

So,my campaign would be... it's awwal zul-hijjah and why not make it a 9-days kick-off program to re-build what u think is deteroriating..!

all the best!

@m|eN said...

arigato neh! naie-sang!

pardon me for doing such thing, naie. a brother shud show good example to the younger sister, and i guess i have failed to do such thing.
please, DO NOT step into that kinda place. moreover, when girls step into it, they would be like a victim. Predators can just come and go, share the same victim. Perhaps u dun get what i mean. No matter what, do not follow my step. i trust u, Naie-sang!

---

Thanx for such advices, ika.
I have received the email.
insyaAllah~ =)

I am glad to have you guys as a frined

of dreams and reality said...

well amin.i cant say anything about 1st and 2nd reasons since m not perfect on those too.but always try to maintain wtv i should.but for ur 3rd reason,here i come.i have two close frns here who went to those places.they same exact intention as urs.just to try new things.but somehow they kinda lost.hopefully they'll be good boys again.really good ones i mean.i had to nag like a real mum.i dun think i need to do dat to u.u can think even wiser that the rest.better u go mcd je next time.haha.i like this post nway.it really reminds other people bout things that might look so small but have a huge effect.may allah protect ur iman and islam as always!!.=)

@m|eN said...

thanx paqin =)

insyaAllah I will maintain the first and the second. my lovely friend, one_munawarah siap bagi I task to be done by eid. insyaAllah, there must be a reason why Allah gives me a wonderful friends like u guys =)

thanx paqin!!!

naie bintang said...

i understand exactly wut u said.im not a kid anymore bro.well,im quite lost currently.lost into the dark space if u undrstnd wut i mean.mcm u jgakla,i am now trying to strengthen my iman.

thx fr trusting me.
:)

fiqss said...

funny thing, my friend and i baru JER discuss a similar matter few days ago.

and we've come to conclude that we must always avoid things that can lead to maksiat at all times. why go there when u can go elsewhere aite.

simple as that ^_^

and luckily, u DO feel bad abt it. bahaya is when u feel nothing.

Anonymous said...

-yang penting anda sudah berazam tidak akan pergi ke tempat seperti itu lagi.
-all the best 4 ur result, apepon keputusannye Allah tau ape yang terbaik untuk kita.
=)

Senorita Adela said...

haha saya try untuk marah awak.
tapi saya sedar siapa laa diri ini..
jadi saya pun buat 'cynically' in my post.
tak tau awak perasan ke tak. LOL
anyways Islam da aja kite, not to mendekati pn bende2 x elok kan? so don't try this lagi ok.
da nak pegi overc da ni.. awak tu the only guy in ur siblings. tho the last, but still must be the wali if anything happens right?

i'm trying to improve myself too. amin..

@m|eN said...

dear fiqs,
i do lucky to feel bad. but i am not sure diz feeling would remain here forever or not. it is soo dangerous!!!

to anonymous dude,
thanx a lot =)

and to fatin,
too bad we are no longer near to each other. susah dah kita nak tegur2 kesilapan ktia,kan? but i do hope we would still be like what we were before. insyaAllah kita jmpa kat airport, where every1 off to our dream unis =)

Anonymous said...

em, bnda dah jd.. later jgn bt dah..
i also slalu miss my subuh.. teroknye.. later we try to improve k?

btw amin, since ko pun dah sdr bnda tue bley drag ko ke bnda yg x elok.. jd xperlu kot aku nak ckp ape2.. ko dah sdr, itu yg penting.. maybe ko rase bersalah kn?

let me tell u dis.. org yg beriman bukan org yg xpnh bt dosa tau... tp, org yg ble buat dosa. die terus bertaubat.. ko ade ciri2 itu.. bnda yg lepas tue biarlah.. tego aku jugak kalo aku bt clap..

aiman

@m|eN said...

thanx aiman =)

Muhammad Irfan said...

cool giler amin! aku pon nk try ah. hahaha!

nshx said...

assalamualaikum.
alhamdulillah...anda ada perasaan bersalah bila dh terbuat bnda salah. syukur allah masih syg anda.

ye..
susah utk kita jaga iman dr tergugat dgn "bnda2 DUNIA" ini...
pernah tak anda fikir...
dari mana datangnya semua ni?
siapa yg bagi kita semua ni?

pernah tgk "The Arrivals" produced by Noreagaa kat youtube?
dan byk lagi..
tgk..
tgk..
tgklah dunia ni dgn pandangan yg berbeza..
dgn pandangan yg luas..

jangan jd mangsa kpd musuh kita.
kuatkan diri anda..

anda adalah pejuang islam
anda adalah pemuda islam
andalah yg akan membangunkan smula khilafah islamiyah.
bukan budak kecik..bukan org2 tua..

sy hanyalah org yg terbaca post anda. tak mengenali anda. dan tidak juga dikenali anda.
juga sedang mengkoreksi diri spt anda dan rakan2 anda.

semoga anda menemui apa yg anda cari dalam hidup anda.

DuranBurke said...

yo dude,

cool gile pegi laundry...

lol